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The Surly Bartender – Global Climate Change Amongst the Nose Pickers

The Surly Bartender has a question: If one group of people spent 20 years of their lives sticking bits of soap up their noses and giggling as they harvested lint from their navels for a midday snack, while another group of people spent the same 20 years studying, say, global climate change, might you understand why, when a conference on climate change is convened, that the scientists who had studied it for two decades might get a bit miffed to find the soap stuffers at the table?

We’re not far from that now – and as is the nature of things in this increasingly ridiculous world – it looks as if the nose pickers and soap stuffers might well win the day to the detriment of us all.

The Surly Bartender, an expert on many things, cannot claim to have a profound depth of knowledge when it comes to “carbon forcing,” a “high albedo environment in Greenland,” or “evapotranspiration,” but for our purposes that doesn’t really matter. Chances are you’re clueless about such things as well. And… »

Terrible But True – The Colonic

The building had the air of student rental, with a notion of cleanliness a touch more maverick than I’d hoped. I might be there for one of the dirtiest deeds of my life, but I wanted no smears of those who had been there before me.

Questions tumbled around… »

Special Commentary – Understanding the Choices

The December 2009 edition of the Archives of Ophthalmology reported an explosion in the incidence of myopia during the past thirty years.  In 1971-72, twenty-five percent of Americans aged 12-54 had myopia. By 1999-2004, the number had jumped to 42 per cent. We are becoming nearsighted. The big… »

Featured Artist – Daniel Chauche

While speaking recently with Daniel Chauche I was reminded of the short poem, Antigonish, written by William Hughes Mearns in the early 20th Century:

Yesterday, upon the stair / I met a man who wasn’t there / He wasn’t there again today / I wish, I wish he’d go… »

Terrible But True – Christmas Off The Rails

dead-santa

It was Christmas Eve in New York City, and Penn Station looked like a goddamn refugee camp. Outside, a freezing rain pelted busy streets awash in festive bunting and deadly ice patches. Inside, thousands of cold wet travelers jostled and shoved, swearing harder with each announcement of further… »

Just Damn Funny – How the Angel Got On Top of the Christmas Tree

Illustration by Juan Pablo Canale Banus

It wouldn’t be fair to describe my upbringing as Pagan. Paganism implies that one worships something, be it the Sun God Ra, the trickster Pan, or Zeus, God of Thunder and Lightning. No, my formative years were largely devoid of religion. Specifically, my family aligned itself with a… »

Traveler’s Journal – A Christmas Rose on a Summertime Trail

hiking glacier

This story is only very loosely connected to the holiday season. It takes place in the middle of the summer, and there’s only one phrase in the piece that tangentially connects subject to theme. There’s neither eggnog nor mulled wine, and the only pines in sight were standing… »

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